The Brak Show2000

Grant Gainway:
My God. Father, it's you!

Brak:
His name's not "Father". It's "Dad".

Grant Gainway:
His name is Drake Gainway.

[melodramatic organ sting]

Dad:
It is?

Mom:
I don't understand! I'm blind!

Grant Gainway:
He's obviously been living a double life.

Dad:
I have?

Grant Gainway:
Yes, as Drake Gainway, billionaire industrialist...

Dad:
Who knew?

Grant Gainway:
-and as Dad, lowly worm farmer recently become rich millionaire oil baron.

Dad:
So I'm a millionaire *and* a billionaire? That is freaking awesome!

Brak:
It's not! It's terrible! Drake Gainway is dying from a gigantic BRAIN TUMOR!

Dad:
[removes his hat to reveal an enormous, hideous lump] I was wondering what the hell that was!