The Critic1994

[Duke has just revamped Jay's show in an attempt to raise ratings, with Jay acting as a ventriloquist's dummy]

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar:
Welcome to "Coming Attractions." I'm Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and this is Little Knothead.

Jay Sherman:
This is so demeaning. I have a PhD in film!

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar:
Okay, Dr. Knothead, why don't you sing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" while I drink a glass of water.

Jay Sherman:
[singing] John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt / That's my name too! I spit in the water.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar:
[spits water] Knothead!

Franklin Sherman:
[the Shermans are watching] Didn't we used to have a Knothead doll?

Eleanor Sherman:
That was our son!