The Dick Van Dyke Show1961

Rob Petrie:
[to Laura] Give me one good reason why you won't go out with me tonight.

Laura Petrie:
I'll give you two. First of all, we are not allowed to date servicemen.

Rob Petrie:
Servicemen? It's merely a temporary disguise with which to fool the enemy. Underneath this uniform beats the heart of a one hundred percent confirmed civilian, who attended the University of Illinois, majoring in Germanics, journalism, English and all intellectual stuff like that. It may interest you to know that I don't smoke or drink or bite my nails. I don't tell unsavory jokes in mixed company. And, uh, about complaining, I'm very easy to live with. I can go for a whole week with a hole in my sock; you won't hear a word out of me. Now, as far as the entertainment is concerned, we'll see nothing but June Allyson pictures. And when it comes to the guest list for the wedding, you can invite all the people you want to from your side of the family as long as I reserve the right to have either my father or my mother. Now, when your mother comes to live with us, she'll be as welcome as the flowers in the spring. Now, what is the second reason?

Laura Petrie:
I don't like you. At all!

Rob Petrie:
It's just because I make a rotten first impression. Ask anybody!