The Distressed Watcher2010

Distressed Watcher:
Far more infuriating than Jar-Jar is Anakin Skywalker, played by Jake Lloyd, who I hope is addicted to heroin and blowing a guy for his next fix right now. This kid is the Beaver. His every word is hollow and filled with souless, fifties sitcom-style dialogue and exclamations, and he's a goody-goody. Darth Vader was a little goody-goody who said sh*t like this:

Anakin Skywalker:
Mom, you said the biggest problem in the universe is that nobody helps each other.

Distressed Watcher:
I wanna puke in my Cheerios when I hear things like that.