The Golden Girls1985

Blanche Devereaux:
Oh, take it from me, honey, there is no gentle way to end it with a man. When you're gentle with them, they just don't get the message.

Rose Nylund:
Oh, Blanche is so right, Dorothy. That was exactly the problem I had with Eddie Parker. He was this real sweet guy who was crazy about me, but I just didn't feel the same way about him. You see, when Charlie went off to war, I went to work for our local USO club. And, that's where I first met Eddie the Aqua Midget.

Blanche Devereaux:
He was a blue midget?

Rose Nylund:
Don't be ridiculous, he was a diving midget. That was his act. He used to jump off a step ladder into this gigantic punchbowl.

Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak:
[stifling laughter] S-so, um... what happened?

Rose Nylund:
Nothing. He'd just swim to the side and hop out.

Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak:
I mean, uh... what happened between you and Eddie?

Rose Nylund:
We talked a lot between shows, and of course I didn't realize it but he- he was falling for me.

Blanche Devereaux:
Didn't have far to fall. [Dorothy grabs Blanche's hand in an attempt to stifle more laughter]

Rose Nylund:
It... it started with little things...

Blanche Devereaux:
I bet. [more stifled laughter]

Rose Nylund:
Pretty soon the situation got out of control, and I... I tried to let him down gently...

Blanche Devereaux:
You tried to make it short and sweet? [more stifled laughter]

Rose Nylund:
He just wouldn't take no for an answer. So I finally had to tell him straight out that I- I didn't feel about him the way he felt about me. It had nothing to do with his size. It- it was simply that... w-I- I could never become seriously involved with anybody in show business.

Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak:
[still stifling laughter] Thank you, Rose. I... I don't know what to say... And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.