The Goodies1970

Graeme Garden:
[after the boys have convinced the Detective's Club the train is real, Graeme and Tim convene in the livestock car] Now the problem is, we need a crime. A crime for them to solve.

Bill Oddie:
[Comes in, inexplicably wet] That's easy - I'm gonna kill you!

Graeme Garden:
[Pinches his nose to block a bad smell] Whoo! Dear...

Bill Oddie:
What? It's not me! It's not me! It must be the goat! You naughty goat, what have you done? You...

Tim Brooke-Taylor:
[pinches his own nose when Bill comes close] Bill, eeew...

Bill Oddie:
Oh, shut up! Come on, please! Honestly! It was snowing, wasn't it? It was snowing! So I have to shelter somewhere, don't I? So what do I do? I climb under the train, don't I? And while I'm there under the train, all of a sudden, SWOOSH! I get a ruddy great load of...!

Graeme Garden:
Shhh, shhh, shhh...! [the train engine starts chugging]

Bill Oddie:
Don't shush me, mate! I've had enough, I tell you! And you can have your train record back! [Hands it to him] No more "Woo-Woo!" No more running up and down in trees! I'm fed up!

Graeme Garden:
Bill, this is my train record!

Bill Oddie:
Yes it is! And no more humping cows up and down, or I shall kill you! I...

Graeme Garden:
Bill, my train record is in here, and yet I can still hear the sound, as of a moving train!

Bill Oddie:
Listen, I don't care about that, mate! As far as I am concerned, the "Orient Express" stops RIGHT HERE! [Goes to step outside and as the train is indeed moving is thrown out onto the side of the tracks]