The Irish R.M.1983

Slipper:
Good day to your Honour. I hope the grey horse is to your liking.

Major Sinclair Yeates:
Er, yes, thank you. What's the charge against this man ?

Mr. Prentice, Clerk of the Court:
Joseph Aloysius Mahoney, known as Slipper, accused of being drunk and disorderly, outside the Temperance Hotel.

Major Sinclair Yeates:
Outside the ... ? Do you plead guilty, or not guilty ?

Slipper:
Well, I was, and I wasn't.

Major Sinclair Yeates:
If there is any doubt in your mind, you should plead, not guilty. I take it the Police are prosecuting ? Now, you're still on oath, Sergeant.

Sergeant Murray:
Yes, sir.

Major Sinclair Yeates:
You say this man was drunk ?

Sergeant Murray:
I would say that this party was not to say, drunk, but in good fighting trim, sir.

Major Sinclair Yeates:
He was making a nuisance of himself ?

Sergeant Murray:
Ah well now, Slipper is a contrary little man, and never duly sober.