The Kids in the Hall1988

Guy:
Hello? I want you to tell me where a shoe store is because I want to look for a pair of shoes and buy 'em.

Shopkeeper:
I'm sorry. I'd love to be of assistance to you, but I'm afraid I speak no English. Allow me to reiterate, I speak no English. Perhaps this will wash the confusion from your face, my friend. My apparent fluency is the result of constant repetition. As you can imagine, I have been through this speech many times before, in fact, I could repeat it for you in any one of seven different languages. Yet oddly enough , I've never learned to speak it in my own, which is fine since over the years I have forgotten how to speak my own language.