The Middleman2008

[creature runs around noisily while being tased]

The Middleman:
Heck of a mess, huh.

Wendy Watson:
Excuse me?

[Creature explodes - all is quiet]

The Middleman:
I said, heck of a mess. Huh.

Wendy Watson:
Whatever. I'm a temp.

[sirens approach]

The Middleman:
Hey, now! The heat's on its way. Okay, cowgirl, here's your marching orders. Anyone asks, this was a gas main explosion. I was never here, this conversation never took place.

Wendy Watson:
Marching orders? What about that hentai tentacle monster?

The Middleman:
[shrugs] Tell the truth if you want, but if you do, I'm going to have to root you like a hog and kill you. [beat] Sorry. So, what's it going to be: Keep the secret, or death?

Wendy Watson:
What do you think?

The Middleman:
Ma'am, specificity is the soul of all good communication.

Wendy Watson:
[beat] Yes. Duh.

[his wristwatch Voice Stress Analyzer reads 99%]

The Middleman:
Outstanding. You're good under pressure.

Wendy Watson:
Are you hitting on me?

The Middleman:
Just making an observation.

Wendy Watson:
[not quite under her breath] Hellooo, nutjob, party of one.

The Middleman:
No, Ma'am. I'm just The Middleman.