The Mighty Boosh2003

Vince Noir:
[Howard has just revealed that he is a virgin] Come on, Howard. It doesn't matter that you're a virgin. It's fine. Women respect that. They don't mind that you've not gone beyond the kiss.

Howard Moon:
[looks away]

Vince Noir:
You've never kissed anyone, have you?

Howard Moon:
So?

Vince Noir:
Have you ever held anyone's hand?

Howard Moon:
I don't like people touching me. Besides, I've had deeper relationships in my mind, at a distance, than you'll ever have in your lifetime, you know that.

Vince Noir:
Are you talking about the incident with the binoculars?

Howard Moon:
That was never proved.

Vince Noir:
It was in The Guardian.