The Nostalgia Critic2007

[Jeremy Scott of "Cinema Sins" joins the Nostalgia Critic to make "Christmas Story 2" eggnog]

Jeremy Scott:
[putting a few drops of eggnog into a blender using a turkey baster] Start off by finding the most classic and beloved Christmas treat you can imagine, and pour only a drop of it into your blender. Because even though it was perfect the way it was, we need to needlessly update it despite the fact that nobody asked us to.

Nostalgia Critic:
[adding in a package of hot dogs, wrapping and all] Next, you'll want to put in a vegan hot dog, because clearly there's no meat to this product whatsoever.

Jeremy Scott:
[slapping the Critic with a chicken drumstick before adding it into the blender] After that, you'll want to find a drumstick that's been needlessly used for slapping. Renditions of classics often contain unnecessary slapstick.

[they both pause and try to think]

Nostalgia Critic:
What's that? You didn't laugh at that joke? Well then, clearly we're making the right recipe.

Jeremy Scott:
Naturally, you're gonna need stars.

[the Critic looks in the fridge and pulls out a starfruit, which he then puts in the blender]

Jeremy Scott:
Look deep in the back of your fridge for the leftover starfruit that's expired way past its prime. It hasn't aged well and you probably forgot it even existed. But it's cheap, it's available and that's all that really matters.

Nostalgia Critic:
[pouring in some water from a pitcher] Finally, water it down as much as you can so you can't recognize what it was originally trying to replicate in the first place.

Jeremy Scott:
[they then blend the ingredients together] Blend whatever charm it had left into a creamy liquid, ready to be pointlessly forced down your throat.

Nostalgia Critic:
[after blending, they pour the stuff into two mugs] Be sure it's poured into a glass that looks festive and tasteful, deceiving you into what you're about to subject yourself to.

Jeremy Scott:
[putting a lit cigarette into both mugs] Finally, garnish with a lit cigarette, and enjoy.

[the two reluctantly drink the "eggnog" from their mugs, then suddenly run to the kitchen sink where they throw up]

Jeremy Scott:
Well, what other reaction would you have expected?