The Nostalgia Critic2007

Nostalgia Critic:
It's weird, because the Santa here is a lot more mean than in the last one, but, of course, because this store seems anti-progress, they decide not to fire him and get a new one. This results in what I suppose is supposed to be Ralphie standing up for Christmas.

Ralphie:
[to the shoppers] You can all go home! No more Santa for you! He is not worth it!

Nostalgia Critic:
[Flick and Schwartz start beating each other with candy canes] But naturally, it's just a forced segue into... I dunno, whatever the hell this is.

Ralphie:
Are you crazy? You're gonna get us fired, man! [Ralphie gets attacked by the candy canes held by his friends and he starts attacking them in kind]

Nostalgia Critic:
Oh, bullshit! Haven't you heard? This place is like a cult! Once you go in, you can never f***ing get out! You have to get a blowj*b by the decapitated head of one of the customers in order to finally get kicked out of this place!