The Nostalgia Critic2007

Nostalgia Critic:
Seriously, what the f*** is wrong with you? Do you honestly think these actions are gonna win me over?

Hyper Fangirl:
I... I... I ju...

Nostalgia Critic:
No no no no no no. You break into my home, you kidnap me, you stalk me. I've had it up to f***ing Jupiter with you!

Hyper Fangirl:
I was just trying to get you back into the Christmas spirit by making you like A Christmas Story again.

Nostalgia Critic:
I love Christmas. I love A Christmas Story. It's YOU I can't stand. I swear, my life would be so much happier if you would just disappear from it.

Hyper Fangirl:
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What are you trying to say?

Nostalgia Critic:
[loses his temper] I hate you! I hate everything about you! If there was a likability scale between 1 and 10, you'd be negative pi! You'd be outlawed in 28 states just so people wouldn't have to talk to you again! If there was a cologne of you, you'd be Essence of Annoying. If cancer got cancer, YOU would be the one they would name it after! Knock knock.

Hyper Fangirl:
Who's there?

Nostalgia Critic:
Nobody! Because nobody would ever want to see you! When people ask monks what the meaning of life is, they say 'stay away from your dumb ass!' You're Beethoven's lost symphony: Death to Joy. Will anyone in an orange sweater, brown hair, glasses and a likable personality please raise their hand?

[Fangirl raises her hand]

Nostalgia Critic:
You're too stupid to even get that joke! On the evolutionary scale, you're the only one who's walking backwards! You're the Surgeon General's warning on every pack of cigarettes!

[suddenly dressed as a cheerleader]

Nostalgia Critic:
Gimme a I, gimme a H-A-T-E-YOU. I HAAAAAAAAAATE YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU!