The Nostalgia Critic2007

Wicked Witch of the West:
Dorothy has escaped the castle! Spread out! Find her! FIND HER! [points to one Winkie] Except for you. You come here.

Winkie Guard:
[approaching her] Yes, milady?

Wicked Witch of the West:
It's been a long day, hasn't it, Oh-ee-oh henchman #5?

Winkie Guard:
Yes, milady.

Wicked Witch of the West:
And you'd do anything for me, wouldn't you?

Winkie Guard:
Yes, milady. Unless someone half your age were to kill you, in which case I would swear allegiance to her blindly.

Wicked Witch of the West:
Okay... What do you say I ride your broomstick for a while?

Winkie Guard:
What do you mean?

Wicked Witch of the West:
Fill my pointy hat.

Winkie Guard:
Don't follow.

Wicked Witch of the West:
POP my ruby slipper!

Winkie Guard:
Totally lost.

Wicked Witch of the West:
Jesus! Do I have to spell it out for you? I want to have sex with you!

Winkie Guard:
Oh!... Still don't get it.

Wicked Witch of the West:
...I don't have any other words to say. Not one part of that sentence could be interpreted in any other way.

Winkie Guard:
Oh, I think I see what you're saying.

Wicked Witch of the West:
Good.

Winkie Guard:
You want me and Henchwoman #12 to hook up? Well, don't worry, my lady. I'm still working on it. [calling offscreen] Hello, Henchwoman #12.

Henchwoman #12:
[calling back] Still not into you, creep!

Winkie Guard:
She's so into me.

Wicked Witch of the West:
Oh, forget it. You're fired! I'm gonna go hit on a flying monkey. [leaves]

Winkie Guard:
I need a better union.