The Nostalgia Critic2007

Nostalgia Critic:
So why didn't they go with her? Well, maybe she wouldn't be nearly as funny being needlessly shoved down a porta-potty and climbing out covered in poo. [Happy Madison audience laugh uncontrollably] Oh, that's right. This is a Happy Madison audience where something they see come out of them every day is suddenly hilarious because it reminds them of something that was scandalous when they were 2 years old. Watch. [a pause] Poo! [Audience laughs]

Audience Member #2:
[laughing] Oh, poo! Oh, poo!

Nostalgia Critic:
Oh, look! He's freezing him to the poo! [Audience laughs]

Audience Member #2:
[laughing] Oh, frozen poo! Oh, frozen poo!

Nostalgia Critic:
Oh, look! A bunch of deer coming up to lick him out of the poo! [Audience laugh even louder] Hey, look! Abbott and Costello are misunderstanding the ballplayer's names and starting positions. [Audience falls silent] Oh, no! They have to think for that! We don't want something smart here! This is a Happy Madison audience!

Audience Member #4:
Where did I come from?

Nostalgia Critic:
Oh, no! They're growing intelligent! Show another poop scene! Show another poop scene! Look! The deer's smiling with poop in his teeth! [Audience starts laughing again] Now give them your money. They work for seconds to think of this awe-inspiring humor. [Audience laugh and start throwing money]

Audience Member #2:
[laughing while throwing money at the Critic] Take it! Take it all!

Nostalgia Critic:
[Bell rings and the caption "Feeding Time" appears] It's feeding time! Who wants White Castle Slider fruit snacks. [Audience raise their hands. Critic throws a switch. Fruit snacks begin flying at the audience and they start eating it while making seal sounds. Critic laughs] It's funny because they shouldn't live.