The Nostalgia Critic2007

Announcer:
Santa has a very special Christmas message he wants everyone to hear.

Nostalgia Critic:
I don't think they do these anymore, but a long, long time ago, they used to have hotlines for everything.

Announcer:
Call 1-900-909-4300. Two dollars, first minute, 45 cents each additional.

Nostalgia Critic:
Look at that, just two dollars for the first minute and only 45 cents every additional minute. It's pretty f***ing costly for the 1980s!

Announcer:
And Santa needs your help to spread the Christmas cheer. Be a Santa's helper.

Nostalgia Critic:
I always remember: you call him up and some jerk-off would talk as slowly as possible so he can make sure that he eats up your time and your f***ing money. What a dick cock!

Announcer:
Get your parents' permission to call Santa's special phone number now.

Nostalgia Critic:
Actually, this sorta takes on a different meaning nowadays, doesn't it? When you make a call that costs money, there's usually a different idea behind it. And the idea of Santa being a part of that is pretty freaking creepy.