The Nostalgia Critic2007

Nostalgia Critic:
[on the Campbell's soup commercial] A cute concept and all but my biggest question is who the f*** left their kid outside so long that he would become a snowman? That's just horrible parenting! In any other world, I don't think this would fly over so smoothly.

Father:
[Oh, Christmas Tree music playing in background] All right, kiddo. I think that's enough playing outside. Time to come on in. [Cuts to an image of frozen Tamara standing outside] Need a little help there? Okay. [Father brings Tamara inside] Ho, ho, ho, well you look like you were having a lot of fun out there, weren't you? [a pause] Indeed. But now it's time to stop playing with your toys, [Starts tugging at Tamara's Skip-It toy] so all right now, no... no... come on, honey... come on... come on... [Successfully pulls off the Skip-It, along with Tamara's right hand. Laughs] Oh, somebody's growing up. Okay, well, why don't I make you a bowl of your favorite Campbell's soup? [Tamara's other hand falls off] I'll take that as a yes. [Picks her up and sits her at the table in front of a bowl of soup] Here you go, honey. A bowl of your favorite... [Tamara falls face-first into the bowl of soup. Father stands there for a few seconds. Awkwardly] Oh, Christ. [Picks up Tamara's head. She obviously looks dead. Father drops her head back into the soup bowl. Looks around awkwardly then runs frantically out of the room]

Nostalgia Critic:
Well, it's still classic in many people's eyes and I think it's still gonna be for quite a while longer. Just don't try at home.