The Nostalgia Critic2007

April:
We have to go get Matt!

Fin:
Don't you see that? There could be kids in there.

April:
There's no one in there... and your kid is right here. We have to get her somewhere safe. This is so typical of you, Fin. You care more about other people than you do your own family.

Nostalgia Critic:
You know, Tara. I'm aware you're in a movie called Sharknado and you're not going to use your A-material, but can you at the very least muster up a D-minus performance?

Anthony C. Ferrante:
Now, Tara. I know you're trying to convey actual human emotion but I swear to Christ if you don't get this right I am going to replace you with a lamp.

Tara Reid:
[Blankly] I understand.

Anthony C. Ferrante:
Look. Just try to convince me that you're not an alien so we can get through this and call it a night, okay?

Tara Reid:
Got it. Let me call my acting coach to help me out.

Anthony C. Ferrante:
Whatever you need. [Walks off]

Tara Reid:
[Dials number on her iPhone and starts talking in alien voice] Commander, the humans are on to me. They do not believe I am one of them.

Kristen Stewart:
[Cuts to the outside of Kristen Stewart's dressing room, where she is also speaking in an alien voice] Do not fear, Lieutenant. [as she is reading a script for "Stephenie Meyer's Caligula: A Fisting Full of Sparkles."] Our mission to consume humanity through shitty movies is nearly at an end. If they start to suspect anything, just draw emphasis to a body part you have not drawn emphasis to yet.

Tara Reid:
[Alien voice] I am running out of those, but I will do my best. [Hangs up phone]

Anthony C. Ferrante:
All right. You ready Tara?

Tara Reid:
[Normal voice] Yes

Anthony C. Ferrante:
Action!

Tara Reid:
[Without any emotion] Oh, no! A sharknado! [Turns around and shows the back of her neck]

Anthony C. Ferrante:
Cut! [to cameraman] Well, she's awful but she has a damn good back of the neck. On with the next scene! [Tara Reid smiles as the Nostalgia Critic commercial bumper appears]