The Nostalgia Critic2007

Nostalgia Critic:
But soon the sister figures out that the Auryn has power and, here's a bright move: she makes f***ing wishes with it! Thank you, God! How come that dumbass Bastian never gets the idea to just wish for sh*t? True, she's using it to go shopping and look like Bozo's hooker, but, hell, she's f***ing using it! All Bastian has to do is wish for The NeverEnding Story to be in his hands and all this misery would be over. But no, he just sits in his room, praying the problem will fix itself. That technically means the bitchy sister is more of a hero than he is, because she's f***ing using it! Hell, even the Nasties, the VILLAINS of this picture are closer to heroes than Bastian is, because they're actually taking advantage of what they have.

[to Bastian]

Nostalgia Critic:
Why the hell are you even in this movie? Just leave!