The Office2005

Michael Scott:
And I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you people.

Pam Beesly:
What?

Michael Scott:
Well, I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget.

[clears throat]

Michael Scott:
Jim, you're 6'11", and you weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss-ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela, where's Angela? Well, there you are. I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted.

[Stanley starts to laugh]

Michael Scott:
Oscar, you are...

[starts giggling]

Michael Scott:
Oscar, you're gay.

Oscar Martinez:
Wow.

Michael Scott:
Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck and you're gayer than Oscar. Boom. Roasted.