The Onion News Network2007

Glen Bannon:
A lot of fans are saying this movie sullies the vision of someone called Gene Roddenberry.

Bree Lindsay:
Right, yes, Gene Roddenberry was the hack who created the Star Trek television show way back in the forties or something.

Glen Bannon:
So is Paramount doing anything to combat all this negative press Bree?

Bree Lindsay:
Yes they are, they've announced the DVD release will feature a special cut just for the Trek fans with three hours of extra footage in which characters stand around debating the merits of saving the Andorian Ambassador from the surface of Cylax Four until you just wish everyone was dead.

Glen Bannon:
Well, that should be some consolation.