The Red Green Show1991

Red Green:
How's it coming with my van, Dale?

Dale:
All finished, Mr. Green. I put a drop of oil on your horn relay. Your horn was sticking.

Red Green:
[somewhat incredulous] Yeah, I know. I LIKE it sticking. That way I can let morons know what I think of them, and still keep both hands on the wheel.

Dale:
[a little sorrowfully] Your generation is so confrontational.

Red Green:
No, we're not! I mean, doesn't YOUR generation ever lean on the horn?

Dale:
No, mostly I just use it to say hi. You know, "Beep, beep! How's it going, buddy?"

Red Green:
[exasperated tone] Dale, a horn is not for saying HELLO, it's for saying, "Get the hell outta the way!" Like this...

[Red honks the horn twice, long and loud]

Dale:
[remonstratingly] You're holding it for two whole notes, Mr. Green. See, if you just play two quarter notes, like this...

[reaches through the driver's window and presses the horn button briefly twice]

Dale:
...it sounds cheerful. You should try it; it'll be cool.

Red Green:
[a bit sarcastically, indicating that he isn't buying it] Oh, I definitely wanna be cool, Dale. That's a top priority with me.

[starts the van]

Dale:
Well, I still think you should give it a try, Mr. Green. You never know, you might surprise yourself.

Red Green:
[appeasingly, but still with a faintly sarcastic overtone] Yeah, well, why don't I just do that, Dale, and you have yourself a RAINBOW DAY.

[Red starts to drive off, then leans on the horn in earnest, blasting a REALLY loud and long honk, as Dale winces at the awful racket]