The Red Green Show1991

Red Green:
Okay, so Old Man Sedgwick's son has moved back in with him, and you can tell by the broken furniture out on the front lawn, and the duct tape they got dividing the rooms exactly in half, and things are really not going all that well. Now, you tell me, what is the worst thing that could happen out of that scenario?

Harold:
Well, they could be heating their cabin, like, with a high-sulfur coal, you know? Then meanwhile, on top of the wood stove, both men are rinsing their teeth in the same pewter jar, right? And that would create this symbiotic hydrolysis, right? And then there'd be a thermal inversion, right? And then all of a sudden, the... the sulfur and ions, they... they'd have to COLLIDE with the DENTAL PLAQUE, right? And that'd ACCELERATE the electrons to the point where there'd be this MASSIVE NUCLEAR REACTION, right? Bbut it wouldn't KILL them! Oh, no, it wouldn't KILL them, Uncle Red! But indeed, yes, it would render them ABSOLUTELY STERILE for the REST OF THEIR LIVES! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Harold composes himself again]

Harold:
I'm writing an episode of "The Outer Limits".

Red Green:
Harold, you ARE an episode of "The Outer Limits"!