The Rockford Files1974

Jim Rockford:
[Jim walks over to the lifeguard's chair, which is surrounded by a bevy of girls in bikinis] Hey Skip, 'scuse me Skip. You were on duty yesterday. You remember that Road Queen with the big boat on the back that was parked over there. You wouldn't happen know where they went?

Skip Speece:
Ladies?

[the girls drift away]

Skip Speece:
She hit on you too?

Jim Rockford:
Who?

Skip Speece:
Who? Shareen.

Jim Rockford:
You mean the little girl?

Skip Speece:
Was that a humungous little bod? I'm making my morning patrol on the beach in my jeep. She's out there with this headset on, so I stop, warn her about the rip tides

[snickers]

Skip Speece:
You know. Bam! She's coming on to me like...

Jim Rockford:
[inwardly rolling his eyes up to heaven] Oh y-e-eah, those rip tides are terrible! The bottom is just littered with ships!

Skip Speece:
So I take a half hour splitzky, you know, I'm steering her to the dugout at the little league field for coup de grace, all of a sudden she starts having second thoughts. Starts telling me about this head case boyfriend she's got back home there. Punk rocker she says. Well this creep wears safety pins all over his clothes. Well Jim, you know I hate to see a nice girl going in the wrong direction.

Jim Rockford:
[cynically] Oh I know you do, Skip. I know all about your work with youth!

Skip Speece:
So I told her, hey look, I said, if you're a real punk then you don't have to be faithful to this guy cause real punks aren't faithful to anybody. But it was no go.

Jim Rockford:
[feeling disgust] You're quite a guy, Skip. Look Skip, they stole my barbacue. You wouldn't happen to know where they went next?

Skip Speece:
You know, Jim, I work hard here everyday, and never so hard that I don't have a little extra time for you. Keeping an eye on that trailer. Telling people to watch out for you car when they pull out. Stuff like that. do you remember me at Christmas time? Ever? Slip me a couple of numbers, even a six pack.

[Jim gives him a couple of greenbacks]

Skip Speece:
I mean I hope you know where I'm coming from. I mean, a lifeguard doesn't have all that many years in him. After 35 the skin goes. You can't...

Jim Rockford:
[impatiently] Where were they headed?

Skip Speece:
The old lady was all hot to see the Hearst Castle.

Jim Rockford:
Well I'll tell you something, Skip. I remember you at Christmas time, I just don't do anything about it!