Top Gear2002

[after Richard and James just tested the "Cottage S-Class", a Mercedes S-Class Jeremy has modified to look like the inside of his house including a concrete floor with wood paneling, and indoor chairs]

Jeremy Clarkson:
This is the safest car in the world.

Richard Hammond:
I've got a scar!

James May:
I've got bruised ribs and a badly barked shin!

Jeremy Clarkson:
Listen. You see these endless crash test footage of cars being thumped into concrete blocks and the concrete blocks are never damaged. This is a concrete block!

James May:
I would very happily drive this into a concrete block. Turning around on some corners was really dangerous!

Richard Hammond:
And another thing. Why did you polish the wooden floor? I was all woo - [imitates sliding action]

Jeremy Clarkson:
Look! The brilliance of this car is that you're never going fast enough to properly hurt yourself!

Richard Hammond:
You're never going fast enough to get where you're going!

James May:
Yeah, zero to sixty in, what was it, forty-five seconds.

Jeremy Clarkson:
How safe is that?

Richard Hammond:
Have you ever been in a dining room going sixty miles an hour?

James May:
Do you want me to show what it feels like to get hit in the back of the head with a wingback chair?

Jeremy Clarkson:
Look! The problem is taste, okay. [points to Richard] If we built a car to look like the inside of your house, it would have a horse in it! [points to James] And you. Your house is just full of pictures of the Queen.