Tour of Duty1987

[the guys are sitting in a row of latrines, after contracting food poisoning. Danny is waiting his turn... ]

Private Alberto Ruiz:
What kind of guy deserts his buddies?

Private Marcus Taylor:
A coward!

Pvt. Francis 'Doc Hoc' Hockenbury:
C'mon, Marcus. You're the guy all the time tellin' us we ought not to be jumpin' to conclusions.

Private Marcus Taylor:
And I'm right! But a deserter's a deserter...

Private Danny Purcell:
[Danny rushes to the latrines and notices they are all occupied] Awww! Well, hurry up!

Private Alberto Ruiz:
You know, if there was a guy thinking about deserting in our unit, I'd rather have him step forward and go home.

Private Marcus Taylor:
What?

Private Alberto Ruiz:
Well, better that than in the middle of a fire fight when he's supposed to be watching my back.

Private Danny Purcell:
Look, one of you guys had go to hurry up, 'k?

Private Marcus Taylor:
One second, Danny! You know Roo, you have a point there, man. Take Doc here - Doc might be a... a... a squirrelly, little, long-haired... a... red-neck, pinko, conshie medic but I know he wouldn't desert me in battle.

Pvt. Francis 'Doc Hoc' Hockenbury:
Thank you.

Private Danny Purcell:
Awww, hell! [Steals toilet paper and runs off into the grass]

Pvt. Francis 'Doc Hoc' Hockenbury:
Danny, come back here with... that.