True Blood2008

Jason Stackhouse:
[as they clean up Merlotte's] Seriously, you can become any animal, any time?

Sam Merlotte:
Yes as long as I imprint on them.

Jason Stackhouse:
That is f***in' cool man.

Detective Andy Bellefleur:
Yeah well as cool as that may be, we still got a maenad we gotta deal with before it takes our whole town out.

Sam Merlotte:
Listen, you can't deal with it. Alright? Your best bet's to leave while you still can.

Jason Stackhouse:
Shouldn't was at least get the law involved?

Detective Andy Bellefleur:
[offended] I am involved!

Jason Stackhouse:
There's Sheriff Dearborne, Kenya, the other guy... the squirrely one.

Detective Andy Bellefleur:
Sheriff's station was wide open and empty. It ain't gonna help.

Jason Stackhouse:
Then "we" are the law. Guys, I read a book about this. This is armageddon. This is the oral history of the zombie war... we need weapons. Lots of them.

Sam Merlotte:
Listen, I hate to break it to you but guns aren't going to do jack-sh*t to Maryann and you can't shoot anybody else. These are our friends. This is our town.

Jason Stackhouse:
Sometimes you need to destroy something to save it. That's in the Bible or the Constitution.