Two and a Half Men

     

Two and a Half Men2003

Director: Chuck Lorre
Two and a Half Men is an American television sitcom that originally aired on CBS for twelve seasons from September 22, 2003, to February 19, 2015. Originally starring Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Jones, the series was about a hedonistic ji… more »


Alan Harper:
And now that Judith's finally getting remarried, and I can see the light at the end of the alimony tunnel, you decide, "Hey, why don't I start humping her new sister-in-law"!

Charlie Harper:
That is not how it happened!

Alan Harper:
I don't care how it happened! I only care how it's going to end, and it's going to end badly for *me*!

Charlie Harper:
How? Explain how.

Charlie Harper:
[near hysterics] I don't know yet! That's always part of the fun... trying to guess how your *penis*, is going to bite *me*, in the *ass*!

5.0 / 2 votes
274

Share your thoughts on this Two and a Half Men's quote with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Find a translation for this quote in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Quote of the Day Today's Quote | Archive

    Would you like us to send you a FREE inspiring quote delivered to your inbox daily?

    Please enter your email address:

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this movie quote to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Two and a Half Men Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/945507>.

    Powered by CITE.ME Cite.Me

    Know another quote from Two and a Half Men?

    Don't let people miss on a great quote from the "Two and a Half Men" movie - add it here!

    Our favorite collection of

    Famous Movies

    »

    Browse Quotes.net

    #ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ 

    Quiz

    Are you a quotes master?

    »
    Who said: "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking."?
    A James Cameron
    B Nelson Mandela
    C Steve Jobs
    D Mark Zuckerberg