Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men2003

Director: Chuck Lorre
Two and a Half Men is an American television sitcom that originally aired on CBS for twelve seasons from September 22, 2003, to February 19, 2015. Originally starring Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Jones, the series was about a hedonistic ji… more »



Alan Harper:
And now that Judith's finally getting remarried, and I can see the light at the end of the alimony tunnel, you decide, "Hey, why don't I start humping her new sister-in-law"!

Charlie Harper:
That is not how it happened!

Alan Harper:
I don't care how it happened! I only care how it's going to end, and it's going to end badly for *me*!

Charlie Harper:
How? Explain how.

Charlie Harper:
[near hysterics] I don't know yet! That's always part of the fun... trying to guess how your *penis*, is going to bite *me*, in the *ass*!

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    "Two and a Half Men Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Nov. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/945507>.

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