You Can't Do That on Television

You Can't Do That on Television1979

Genre: Comedy
You Can't Do That on Television is a Canadian sketch comedy television series that first aired locally in 1979 before airing in the United States in 1981. It featured preteen and teenage actors in a sketch comedy format similar to that of American s… more »



El Capitano:
Ready! Aim!

Kevin Kubusheskie:
Wait a minute! Stop the execution!

El Capitano:
What is it this time?

Kevin Kubusheskie:
Don't you think that maybe this could be a little dangerous?

El Capitano:
Dangerous? Ha-ha-ha! "Dangerous!" Ha-ha. Sure! Dangerous for YOU, but not for me. Heh-heh. Amigos... Ready! Aim!

Kevin Kubusheskie:
No, I mean for you.

El Capitano:
Oh-ho, ha-ha-ha! For me, dangerous? Ha-ha-ha-ha. How?

Kevin Kubusheskie:
Don't you think that maybe you're becoming addicted to these executions? How long have you been out here, anyway, trying to shoot someone?

El Capitano:
Oh, a long time.

Kevin Kubusheskie:
That's right. And don't you wake up every morning eager to get out here?

El Capitano:
Ah, heh-heh-hehh, yeah, I suppose so.

Kevin Kubusheskie:
And don't you think that the more people you shoot the more dangerous it becomes?

El Capitano:
Maybe, but, uh, I don't know, what can I do?

Kevin Kubusheskie:
Well, knowing that you're addicted is the first part of the cure, so you're halfway there.

El Capitano:
Oh, good.

Kevin Kubusheskie:
But the second part of the cure is much more difficult, and it is also very important if you are ever to become free of this dangerous addiction of yours.

El Capitano:
[mumbles] Wait a minute, you've got to tell me what to do. I don't want to be a slave to my addiction.

Kevin Kubusheskie:
Okay, well the first thing you do is you stand here like a prisoner, okay?

El Capitano:
[trading positions with Kevin] Oh. Well, that's not so hard.

Kevin Kubusheskie:
Okay. And to make you feel like it's real, I have to play YOUR part, okay?

El Capitano:
Okay. Wait. Are you sure this is going to work?

Kevin Kubusheskie:
Oh, yeah. You'll be cured all right. Now, ready! Aim! FIRE!

[guns fire]

Kevin Kubusheskie:
I told you you'll be cured.

El Capitano:
[dying] That's one... sneaky... kid. Sacramento!

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    "You Can't Do That on Television Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 9 Jan. 2025. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/957065>.

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