You Can't Do That on Television1979
El Capitano:
Ready! Aim!
Kevin Kubusheskie:
Wait a minute. Stop the execution.
El Capitano:
What is it this time?
Kevin Kubusheskie:
Wha...
Alasdair Gillis:
[entering, interrupting] What are you, some kinda nerd or something? I mean, how long have you been trying to shoot this wimp here, anyway?
El Capitano:
Well...
Alasdair Gillis:
You call yourself a capitano?
El Capitano:
Si.
Alasdair Gillis:
Why, you couldn't even captain a blasted ship in your bathtub.
El Capitano:
What?
Alasdair Gillis:
Get outta my way and I'll show you how it's done.
Alasdair Gillis:
[taking his sword aggressively] Ready! Aim! Fire!
[two shots ring out but Kevin isn't hit]
Kevin Kubusheskie:
[delighted] He missed! Ha-ha!
Alasdair Gillis:
Whadda you mean "He missed!" You call that a firing squad?
El Capitano:
Si.
Alasdair Gillis:
[shoving the sword back into El Capitano's hand] Stay here.
[Alasdair walks off camera. El Capitano and Kevin watch as Alasdair, apparently, roughs up the squad]
Alasdair Gillis:
[returning, covered in dust] There, that outta show 'em who's boss.
El Capitano:
What did you do to the firing squad? And what am I going to do WITHOUT a firing squad. Hm?
Kevin Kubusheskie:
Could take a coffee break.
El Capitano:
Hey, dhat's a good idea. HEY, AMIGOS, COFFEE BREAK!
El Capitano:
[to Kevin] Come on. Hey, you want a coffee?
El Capitano:
[as Alasdair moves to join them] NOT YOU!
[El Capitano walks off with a buddy arm around Kevin and Kevin sticks his tongue out at Alasdair]
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