You Can't Do That on Television1979

Doug Ptolemy:
Boy, Mom, I'm glad you don't listen to all those news reports about the bad things in food.

Lance Prevort:
Yeah, huh-huh. Oh, I can hardly wait to sink my teeth into a thick, juicy steak.

Valerie Prevort:
Oh, well, Lance, I'm afraid I won't be having any of those, dear. I heard on television that steak is very bad for you.

Vanessa Lindores:
Oh, so we're having chicken or ham?

Valerie Prevort:
Oh, well, no, Vanessa. I read in the newspaper that pork and chicken are very bad for you, too.

Doug Ptolemy:
Oh, no. Don't tell me we're having VEGETABLES.

Valerie Prevort:
No, Dougie. I'm afraid I heard on the radio that the fertilizer that they used to grow the vegetables in is VERY dangerous for you.

Vanessa Lindores:
All right! No vegetables!

Doug Ptolemy:
But... what ARE we having for dinner?

Valerie Prevort:
[removing covers from the serving dishes, revealing... ] Chocolate bars was all I could think of.

Doug Ptolemy:
Oh, boy! And this isn't even an Opposite Sketch!