You Can't Do That on Television1979

[Cowboy Kevin is tied to railroad tracks]

Kevin Kubusheskie:
Save me! Save me!

[Southern belle Christine arrives]

Christine McGlade:
Oh, don't worry your pretty little head, my little flower. I'm here to save you now.

Kevin Kubusheskie:
Oh, good. Untie me and I shall be your slave forever.

Christine McGlade:
[pinching his cheek] My little pea-blossom of the plantation.

Kevin Kubusheskie:
[as she starts untying the ropes] Who wrote THIS? I mean, haven't we got the roles revered? Shouldn't I be saving YOU?

Christine McGlade:
Wadda you mean?

Kevin Kubusheskie:
I mean, everyone knows it's the woman who's helplessly tied up and the strong, virile young hero in the white cowboy suit comes and saves her.

Christine McGlade:
Just, uh, what're you getting at?

Kevin Kubusheskie:
Well, it's just that women are the helpless ones who always need MEN to get them out of messes. That's all.

Christine McGlade:
[witheringly] Oh, really?

Kevin Kubusheskie:
Yeah, everyone knows THAT.

Christine McGlade:
Okay, buster, if you're so strong and I'm so "helpless," then you can untie yourself.

Kevin Kubusheskie:
Well, wait a minute. What about the train?

Christine McGlade:
[as an approaching train can be head] Train? Oh! It should be coming along any minute.

[a train whistle blows]

Kevin Kubusheskie:
[simply] Help.