You Can't Do That on Television

You Can't Do That on Television1979

Genre: Comedy
You Can't Do That on Television is a Canadian sketch comedy television series that first aired locally in 1979 before airing in the United States in 1981. It featured preteen and teenage actors in a sketch comedy format similar to that of American s… more »



Luke McKeehan:
Wait a minute! Stop the execution!

El Capitano:
Oh, what ees eet thees time?

Luke McKeehan:
I think we should take a vote to see if I get shot.

El Capitano:
Are you kidding? That's democracy. This is a dictatorship. You know that.

Luke McKeehan:
Yes, but this is also the era of modern interactive devices where the audience at home can actively affect the outcome of what goes on on our television screen.

El Capitano:
What does all THAT mean?

Luke McKeehan:
That means they can decide if you shoot me.

El Capitano:
Oh, come on!

Luke McKeehan:
No, it's true. Okay, you see the little green and red squares at the bottom there?

[Two colored squares appear at the bottom of the TV screen]

El Capitano:
Uhh... Ooo, ooo. Si. Si. Yeah, mm.

Luke McKeehan:
Yeah, okay, okay. Well, the audience just presses the red square if they don't want me to get shot, and the green square if they want me to get shot. Okay, now, press 'em now.

El Capitano:
Okay, and now... THEN what happens?

Luke McKeehan:
Well, then the computer just tallies up the vote and we see if I get shot.

El Capitano:
Oh... Hey, amigos, I don't like thee sounds of thees.

Luke McKeehan:
Oh... oh, hold on. Here come the results. I'm not gonna get...

El Capitano:
Oh...

[the results are 9999 to 2002 in favor of the shooting]

El Capitano:
Hey, look at that! The green ones won! Hey, amigos, we're gonna be able to shoot him after all. We've waited a long time for this.

Luke McKeehan:
Oh, come on! You can't kill me! It's a computer error. It must be a mistake.

El Capitano:
No mistake! READY! AIM!

Luke McKeehan:
Uh, uh, calibrate the computer! Ahh!

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    "You Can't Do That on Television Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 9 Jan. 2025. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/957943>.

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