A New Leaf1971

[During Henry's "surprise homecoming party", Henrietta's servants shower him with gifts]

Henry Graham:
I would like to say a word, please, Mrs. Traggert. There's something about you that puzzles me.

Henry Graham:
Mmm-hmm.

Henry Graham:
Why do you continue on in the arduous position of housekeeper when by investing wisely you could have your own little townhouse in Sutton Place? [the servants laughs; John blows on his harmonica] And a guarantee income for life?

Mrs. Traggert:
Oh! [the servants laughs again]

Henry Graham:
Surely after having successfully managed to pad the household accounts to the tune of 35,000 tax-free dollars per year for the past five years, you must've salted something away.

Mrs. Traggert:
Have I ever! [laughs]

Henry Graham:
I'm not including, of course, the token salary of $800 per week...

Mrs. Traggert:
[corrects Henry] Four hundred. Four, four.

Henry Graham:
[ignores the correction] $800 a week you receive as mad money.

Mrs. Traggert:
Ah, is it mad. [the servants laughs once again] Ha-ha-ha! Ooh, is it mad!

Henry Graham:
Mrs. Traggert, you're fired.

[the laughter stops abruptly]

Mrs. Traggert:
[shocked] I don't unders- I don't know what that means.

Henry Graham:
That means that you are a thief, Mrs. Traggert.

Mrs. Traggert:
On what grounds are you making this accusation?

Henry Graham:
I am calling you a thief on the basis of the household accounts which you very sensibly hid under your mattress.

Mrs. Traggert:
Well, listen, Mr. Graham, could I speak to you for just one little minute, please?

Henry Graham:
[looks at his watch] The time is now seven minutes past 9:00. If you are not out of this house by 10:00, I will call the police. Shall we synchronize our watches, or would you rather go for broke?

Mrs. Traggert:
[stammers] Uh, uh, you wouldn't-um, you wouldn't like to hear my side of the story? [Henry picks up the telephone receiver, then starts to call the N.Y.P.D] [in anger] All right, All right! I'm leaving!