Bill Engvall: Aged & Confused2009

Bill Engvall:
I remember when I was fourteen years old, I saw my very first Playboy magazine. A friend of mine brought some over, which was kind of stupid, because all we needed was *a* Playboy magazine.

[laughter]

Bill Engvall:
Actually, all we needed was a page out of a Playboy magazine. But I digress. And I remember I opened up that magazine, I opened up that big page and I looked at that girl and I remember thinking "Wow! I am not in your ballpark." Because her turn-ons didn't say "fourteen year old acne faced boys." Well, this last year, I caught my son with a Penthouse magazine. And I took it away from him... opened up the big page.

[laughter]

Bill Engvall:
And said "I am *still* not in her ballpark!" I missed that whole ballgame. In fact, I'm the guy that left that game early to beat traffic!

[laughter]