Cathy's Valentine1989

Irving:
[bringing out a handful of cords for Cathy's stereo] Surprise!

Cathy Andrews:
[slightly disappointed] Oh.

Irving:
[chuckles, then begins hooking up the cords] I've figured out how to wire this right to your cable!

Cathy Andrews:
Irving, I thought - you know, you wanted to do something romantic.

Irving:
Are you kidding? Look at this: I've got splinters, cable links...

Cathy Andrews:
[flirtatiously] You know, curl up on the couch, and...

Irving:
Needlenose pliers!

Cathy Andrews:
[getting irritated] Irving? Romantic?

Irving:
What do you call this?

Cathy Andrews:
[scoffs exasperatingly] I want a kiss, not digitized sound.

Irving:
[also scoffing] Why is it that things have to go ex-actly by the rules of your - stupid "Romance of the Month" books, so they don't count, huh?

Cathy Andrews:
Why are *you* so afraid of involvement you hide behind stuff all the time?

Irving:
[holding up the cords] I got this *stuff* for you!

Cathy Andrews:
Gizmos, newspapers, remote controls, how am I supposed to get close to you, huh?

Irving:
Close? Who's the one who locks herself in the bathroom in the middle of a date to study magazine articles?

Cathy Andrews:
I'm researching how to hold a man's hand when it's always full of *stuff*!

Irving:
Yet, you don't even want to deal with the real person.

Cathy Andrews:
Real men don't think cable splinters are romantic gifts!

Irving:
Just - just forget it, Cathy, okay? I'm sick of being the perfect guy just to get yelled at! [heads for the door]

Cathy Andrews:
Take your needlenose pliers with you!

Irving:
[putting his jacket on] Fine! And we're not coming back!

Cathy Andrews:
[as Irving closes the door] Fine!

Cathy Andrews:
[almost reentering] Except we have to go to Ross's wedding on Valentine's Day! We have a commitment!

Cathy Andrews:
Fine! [Irving leaves]