Dirt Merchant1999

[after Dirt Merchants' roommates get paid by a reporter and start talking provocatively about him]

Holly So Tightly:
Consider yourself lucky...

[pulls Dirt Merchant to bed with her]

Holly So Tightly:
...at least you still have friends!

Holly So Tightly:
My last three guys... Eric, Bart, John... dead! Gone!

[puts her arm around him and starts crying]

Holly So Tightly:
I mean, do I have bad Karma or what?

Dirt Merchant:
Maybe, you know... but ah... well, sometimes... sh*t just happens.

Holly So Tightly:
Ah... you are so understanding.

Dirt Merchant:
Thanks.

Holly So Tightly:
Kiss me, you tool!

[kisses him]