Modern tourist guides have helped raised tourist expectations. And they have provided the natives -- from Kaiser Wilhelm down to the villagers of Chichacestenango -- with a detailed and itemized list of what is expected of them and when. These are the up-to-date scripts for actors on the tourists stage.

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A "Hi, I am here!"

B "Hello, Dolly!"

C "Hello gorgeous!"

D "Papa, can you hear me?"