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George Carlin: You come home early, you masturbate, but you do it in your sister's bedroom, just to give it a little extra thrill. You know what I mean? And then you watch the Montel Williams show. Pretty good topic: women who take it up the ass for 50 cents. Well, not the best show he's ever done. But you know something? Not bad, either.

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    Quiz

    Are you a quotes master?

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    "Time spent with cats is never wasted." is widely attributed to?
    A Robin Williams
    B Kelly Clarkson
    C Sigmund Freud
    D Ellen Degeneres