Jeff Dunham: [commenting on a childhood photo of his, in which he wears a striped shirt and plaid pants] How did my mother even let me out of the house? And this wasn't some accident on a Saturday morning when I accidentally threw on the wrong clothes. This is an outfit I wore to school regularly. I don't know why I didn't get beat up on a regular basis. I must've gone to the store and said, "Do you have any pants that don't even go with themselves?"
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