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Jeff Dunham: During the holidays last year, we had to take the Hummer and get a little maintenance done on it. And then we went to pick it up when it was finished and we're driving home, and my wife is behind me, she's driving the Hummer, and I'm in front, I'm driving the Prius. I was tricked somehow. I don't know how that happened. But she calls me on the cell phone and she's laughin'. Let me explain to you why. The Prius that we own is not a black Prius, it's not a red Prius. It's a blue Prius. But it's not really a blue Prius, it's more of a "blue" Prius. It's pretty. Sparkly! I did that a little too well, didn't I? And also, while I'm driving, I'm holding in my left arm my wife's three pound chihuahua. And you have to hold this dog when you're driving, otherwise, it'll fall down between the seats, and you're like, "Where the hell is that dog? Oh, there you are. Let me put down the parking brake. That'll hold ya, ya little bastard." "Oh, I gotta shift." [imitates chihuahua yelping] "Oh! Oh... That was your head. I'm sorry. I thought it was the little shifty thingy. It's the same size, and leather and fur, I don't know the difference. I thought I was grinding the gears." "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr." Thanks for laughing at that. That's the stupidest joke I tell all night. And then also that morning, unbeknownst to me, I don't know why I didn't see it, but my children have gone out before me, and they had taken out some of those vinyl window holiday decorations and they put them all over the back window of the Prius. There was Christmas trees and Santa Claus and snowflakes. It was so pretty. My wife calls me, she's laughing hysterically. I'm like, "What's so funny?" She goes, "Can you see yourself?" I'm like, "What?" She goes, "You're driving a powder-blue Prius, you're holding a three-pound chihuahua, there's pretty Christmas decorations all over your car, and you make a living with dolls! You're gay!" "Click!"

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