Jim Gaffigan: [comparing pie to cake] That's like liquid cake, isn't it? Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, someone's drunk in the kitchen. "Go check on Grandma." Pie can't compete. You ever hear of a hot chick jumping out of a pie? It's too messy. "I'm here!" "Go take a shower."
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