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Peck: The TSAT 3000 is for coping with the difficult adolescent years by answering what the French existentialist Albert Camus called the fundamental question of philosophy. The TSAT 3000 answers the question. Hamlet - Act Three Scene One: "To be or not to be." You've acted out but no one noticed, cried for help but no one cared. The slings and arrows of teen angst have got you down and you're wondering - to be or not to be? Find out with the TSAT 3000, the world's first and only Teen Suicide Aptitude Test - because life's a bitch, and then you die.

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