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Postman: [narrating] It's been 176 days, a hundred and seventy-six days since I arrived in this godforsaken place in the middle of nowhere. "All you have to do," they said, "is set up a working post office over there, and return home a conquering hero . Piece of cake." HAH! What they did not mention is that the civilized concept of written correspondence is completely wasted on these savages. So here I am, trapped forever in this inhospitable pit of a town, with no hope of ever escaping. I need something big, something extraordinary, some miracle that will get these people to start writing some letters. Yeah, it's gonna take nothing short of a miracle...

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