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[first lines]Anchorwoman: So many fond memories of Maximilian the First on the tenth anniversary of our glorious leader's death.Anchorman: Many of course doubted that his son and heir, Maximilian II, could live up to the example of his charismatic father. But the man affectionately called Junior has valiantly continued against the pesky rebellion, led by the playwright turned terrorist, John Thorne.Anchorwoman: Once derided as the playboy Prince more interested in the movie business, the President-for-life announced today that he would not rest until he has rid the country of these criminals whom he called, quote, "Really bad guys". In a gesture of goodwill to the commemorate his father's memory, the President today also commuted the sentences of several men condemned to the gallows today, sending them to the guillotine instead.Anchorman: Papa would have been proud.

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