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Lee Evans: [about having a scalding hot bath with his wife] Have you noticed they're in the bath before us, so they can "romantically" watch you enter the bathroom COMPLETELY naked. And "romatically" get in the bath WHILST hold your bollocks above your head. AAAH,NONONONO, AAAH, aah for f***, aah this is so F***ING ROMANTIC! And why do I always get the f***ing tap end! You're in the bath [about the taps] one's really hot, one's really cold, as soon as you lean back, ah! ah! ah! ah! ah! F*** off!

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