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[opening narration]Ed: [sitting on a toilet, fully clothed, drinking Scotch whiskey] It's New Year's Eve, and I've been oiling myself all afternoon, in expectation of the party I'd rather not attend. Since Scotch is regarded as a fine social lubricant, I've attempted, to the best of my ability, to get lubricated. Somehow, I feel, it hasn't worked. Ever since I was sacked from my job in the china department at Eton's for habitual uncooperativeness, I've had the crazy feeling that my life is somehow over. Well, not over, exactly. But I can't seem to shake the idea that I peaked somewhere along the line, and I'm now descending.

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