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George Carlin: [about being bothered by time] You've had people come up to you and say, "What time is it? What time is it?" As if you personally were responsible for keeping time? You know, I feel honored, first of all, that they thought I was the man in charge. Well, I do have to explain, "You don't see official timekeeper on here, do you?" I don't have the time, of course not. Do you have the time? That's another way they say it: "Do you have the time?" I say, "No. I don't believe I do. I certainly didn't have it this morning." "Did you leave it somewhere? Well, do you have the time?" "No, I don't have the time. I use a little of it like everyone. But I don't have it. I think the Navy has it." In Washington, isn't it? They keep it in an observatory, that's right. Sure, they let out a little of it each day. Not too much. They wouldn't want to give us too much. Just enough.

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