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Mojca: A man's dying is more his survivor's affair than his own. Thomas Mann.Mojca: At this time a lot of people are thinking about Sabina. I am thinking about her, and not just because I am writing about her. Her parents, who are sad and miss her, are thinking about her. Her cat Frida, who has slept in her bed since she died, probably misses her too. My boyfriend Luka misses two people at the same time, and I cannot imagine how that hurts. Nevertheless I believe that she is also missed by those who at first glance seem not to. Sabina is everywhere you turn. If you look out the window, if you walk along the corridor or just before you go to sleep and in the morning when you wake. But Sabina misses no one. Sabina saved herself from ever having to miss anyone. Through her actions, Sabina ensured that she will never experience what she has caused for us. Why she did it, we do not and cannot know. Perhaps we need to respect a person's decision, but not when it affects others. But I am not interested in why she did it, since I know that when she did it she was not thinking of me. Or of her parents or her cat. She was thinking only of herself, while I will think of her until the end of my life. And as much as I miss her, I also hate her. I am so angry at her that I would kill her again if she appeared before me. Perhaps I can say this because I know it will not happen. Sabina, you left me alone. You left us alone. And I am angry because you do not know how that hurts. At the same time I would just like to be able to say this to your face, and then hug you.

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