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Colonel William G. Smollett: Good morning. Mrs. Hilton, I presume?Mrs. Anne Hilton: Yes.Colonel William G. Smollett: May I be permitted to observe that this is the first house I've found in this godforsaken community that doesn't smell of cabbage.Mrs. Anne Hilton: Well, it does sometimes.Colonel William G. Smollett: I was given to understand at the office of the Purchasing Division, to which I have the misfortune to be attached, that you had a room for rent.Mrs. Anne Hilton: Yes, but I specified an officer. You see, my husband -Colonel William G. Smollett: My name is Smollett, William G., Colonel, United States Army, retired. Retired, I might add, by virtue of certain fatuous opinions held in the War Department which judge a man's usefulness neither by his experience nor his ability, but by the number of years since he was weaned.Bridget 'Brig' Hilton: [dog growls and barks] Soda. Soda!Colonel William G. Smollett: There was nothing in the information I was furnished, madam, which indicated that you had children and domestic pets.Mrs. Anne Hilton: Well, I'm sorry, but they go with the house.Colonel William G. Smollett: We won't discuss it. With your permission, madam, may we dispense with further conversation? I should like to inspect the room.Mrs. Anne Hilton: Certainly. Just follow me. I do hope you'll forgive me if I've been long-winded.Colonel William G. Smollett: Not at all, madam. Through a full, and somewhat protracted existence, I have learned to accept the natural tendency of all women to be garrulous.Mrs. Anne Hilton: You're very tolerant, Colonel.

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